


Merely Marching Away

by katanrock



Series: Meeting Places (Back Here Again) [7]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: Jedi: Fallen Order (Video Game), Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Gen, Mandalorian Culture, Yikes, how is The Clone Wars for kids, wow I went there
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-06
Updated: 2020-04-06
Packaged: 2021-03-02 02:48:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,757
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23517943
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/katanrock/pseuds/katanrock
Summary: Geonosis was barren, no sign of life in sight. The air outside was dry, and he could see the sand swirl below them. He flinched as one of their transports was hit, smoke billowing from its wing. Cal looked at the clones on board with him. They swayed, grip tight on their handlebar.Or, Cal goes through his first battle.
Relationships: CC-2224 | Cody & Cal Kestis, Obi-Wan Kenobi & Cal Kestis
Series: Meeting Places (Back Here Again) [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1639870
Comments: 12
Kudos: 200





	Merely Marching Away

The transport shook almost immediately after they entered the atmosphere. Cal tightened his grip as they lurched, a blast going off just to the right of them. Cal tensed, staring through the slits inside the transport.

Geonosis was barren, no sign of life in sight. The air outside was dry, and he could see the sand swirl below them. He flinched as one of their transports was hit, smoke billowing from its wing. Cal looked at the clones on board with him. They swayed, grip tight on their handlebar. 

Obi-Wan put a hand on Cal’s shoulder, steadying him. He felt reassurance and calm from their training bond, and Cal took a deep breath. No use getting worked up before they even landed. 

The comm on Obi-Wan’s arm went off, flashing red. He removed his arm to answer it. Outside, the front line defenses got even more hectic. As he answered the comm, Cody’s shout filled the transport. 

“General Kenobi! Don’t land!”

“What?! But there’s nowhere else to go!”

The ship reeled to the side, an explosion going off. Cal saw smoke coming from their left wing, and the ship veered downwards. His heart slammed against his chest, eyes darting wildly, Cal widened his stance, holding both hands on the handle. The soldiers shifted, all tensing up.

“We’re going down whether we want to or not, Cody!” Obi-Wan grabbed Cal’s tunic. “Brace yourselves!” 

The transport hit the ground, and Cal flew into his Master. The transport tore through the sandy ground. Cal felt panic, adrenaline coursing through his veins. He reached his hand out, his fear leaking from his shields. He tried to grab the Force to stop the transport, stop their descent, stop the clones that seemed to stumble in slow motion. Nothing. The tendrils that usually soothed Cal were slippery, giving no comfort. 

Clones fell forwards, the sound of crunching metal filling the air. Cal, temporarily blinded, fell to the side, his left arm taking the brunt of the fall. Pain shot through his arm. His head hit something. 

Darkness.

* * *

Cal woke to a hand shaking him. He blinked, getting rid of the grittiness of sand and rubble that accumulated on his face. The shine of a sharp light illuminated the face of his Master, a scratch cutting across his face with rubble collecting in his ginger hair and beard. He winced whenever he shifted, but Cal could see no blood. So either bruised or broken ribs.

“Cal.” He sighed in relief. Cal groaned. His head felt fuzzy. Something sticky matted his hair, and he tried to reach to touch it. But pain from his left shoulder stopped him. He hissed.

“Don’t move your arm. You dislocated your shoulder.” Obi-Wan turned to another trooper who leaned on the wall by his side. “Trapper, help me with his arm.” 

The two men worked quickly, making sure not to jostle him too much. The medic on board with them died in the crash. In fact, they were the only survivors. Trapper quickly made use of the dead medic’s supplies, moving his arm back into place with a pop. He winced, biting his tongue so he didn’t scream. Obi-Wan was about to use a hypospray before Cal stopped him.

“Wait.” Obi-Wan hesitated at Cal. “You need medical attention too!” 

Obi-Wan sighed. “You have a concussion. I will be fine until help finds us.” Without saying anything else, he applied the spray to his head, the cool substance soothing his head almost immediately. 

Cal felt annoyance curdle his stomach. But there was nothing he could do to help his Master. He stared out into the transport. The flashlight did little to light up the rubble that was their transport. But Cal felt the emptiness that the clones used to take up in the Force. What used to be small dots of light that was each soldier, darkness was left. Cal didn’t dare reach out with his hands, lest the Force decide to show their gruesome ends.

Cal gagged, bile trying to push up his throat. He didn’t need to see the bodies to know that they were surrounded by death. His lungs stuttered, and Cal closed his eyes, trying his best to block out the growing stench of blood and flesh; block the empty hole only made by death.

“I,” What was he trying to say? “I tried to reach for the Force. But- but I couldn’t! I tried to stop their deaths, why didn’t it work?!” He was screaming at this point, His eyes were still squeezed shut. 

Why was the Force unresponsive to his pleas? Every life was worth something, tied to the Force! It should want him to save as many lives as possible. 

Why was he unable to save them?

He felt his Master shift. Shuffling told Cal that Trapper sat down, a little further away. A body sat next to Cal, putting an arm around him. He leaned into it. The smell of death clogged Cal’s nose, filled his lungs. There wasn’t enough oxygen, all there was was death, death, death, DEATH-

“Breathe, Cal.” He felt Obi-Wan’s chest expand, the man taking a sharp inhale. He exhaled, hissing out of his mouth. 

Cal followed the motion of his Master’s chest expand, then collapse. Slowly, the smell cleared. His breaths went from clammy to deep. 

The two sat there, the flashlight still in Trapper’s hand. Cal didn’t dare open his eyes. 

  
  


* * *

The sound of metal grinding tore through the silence that fell over the trio. Cal opened his eyes, before blinking at the sudden brightness that pierced through the dusty air.

“Waxer, Boil.” Obi-Wan sighed. “Boy am I happy to see you.” He began to stand up, picking Cal up with him. 

“Trapper, Cal, and I were the only survivors.” Obi-Wan winced, and Cal shifted so that instead of Obi-Wan carrying him, the opposite happened. Cal grabbed hold of his Master’s arm, giving him over to Waxer to carry. Boil grabbed Trapper, who was limping. 

Waxer reached out to grab Cal, but he stopped him. 

“I’m fine. Take care of my Master.” 

Cal’s boots shifted, sinking under the sandy ground. The group began moving. It wasn’t hard to see the perimeter made of LAATs and ATTEs, nor the sound of blaster fire. Cal pulled his lightsaber out, igniting it. Green blade emerged, and Cal fell into defense, blocking any blaster fire that came close to the five. 

They entered the perimeter, and Cal quickly helped Trapper and his Master over to the center where a couple of crates were set up. Cal saw Cody’s bucket, with its orange visor, turn to see them. He quickly made his way over to his General.

“Have the others made it?” 

“No, sir.” Cody took Obi-Wan, settling him onto the sandy ground. Cal knelt next to his Master. “Neither Skywalker or Mundi’s groups made it to the rendezvous.”

Obi-Wan sighed. “Well, we’ll just have to hold position until they do.” 

Waxer and Boil both left, joining the remaining 212th defending their perimeter as the Geonosians slowly made their way over. Trapper, though injured, also joined them, making his way over to an LAAT with his blaster blazing. 

“Where do you think you’re going?” Cal looked down at his Master. 

“I’m going to help.” 

Obi-Wan frowned. “You’re injured. You need to rest.” 

Cal glared back. “I can walk, and I can use my right arm. I’ll be fine, Master.” Before Obi-Wan could say anything else, he ran over to Waxer and Boil. 

He jumped over the two, heading outside the perimeter. He heard the sound of panicked shouting from behind him, but didn’t heed them. Lightsaber flashing, he cut down a Geonosian, continuing towards a tank. His saber cut easily through the metal. He leaped away as it shuddered, and blew up.

Cal leaped from Geonosian to Geonosian, incapacitating them, but not killing them. He made sure not to stray too far from the perimeter, trying his best to hold the enemy off. But he was one person. And not fully trained. The enemy slowly made their way towards the perimeter, and Cal was forced back to the rest of the troops. He felt a wave of calm and strength wash over him. His muscles didn’t feel quite as tired, and the pain emanating from his left shoulder dulled. 

_Thank you, Master_ , Cal sent through the bond. He felt Obi-Wan’s reassurance, and Cal focused back on the battle. 

Cal couldn’t quite tell how long it had been. But the number of dead bodies slowly grew, and their small group began to shrink. Heavy fire from the Geonosians wasn’t getting any lighter, and even with Obi-Wan’s help, Cal couldn’t keep up for much longer. They were being overrun. 

That was when he registered something new. A sound. A trooper pointed up. 

“Reinforcements have arrived!” Cal looked up, seeing bomber planes swoop down. He grinned, watching them take down tankers and Geonosians, sand erupting from the ground. From behind them, more troopers poured in, joining the 212th in defending the perimeter. Soon, the fire from the enemy slowly dwindled. 

Cal retreated from the front line, heading towards his Master. Anakin and Master Mundi were already there, a holomap between the three generals. As Cal joined, Anakin and Master Mundi quickly left, gathering troops to take down the shield generator. 

Cal slowly lowered himself next to his Master. Obi-Wan looked him over, gauging for any new injuries. He prodded their bond, and Cal sent back a reassurance that he had no new injuries. The man relaxed slightly, then leveled a reproaching look at his Padawan.

Obi-Wan didn’t get a word in. 

“What do you think you’re doing, going out there without backup _,_ _di'kuut?!_ ” Cody ran towards the duo. Despite the helmet, Cal could feel the Commander’s glare. “You either go out there with the General, me, or another trooper, at the very least. You don’t go on the offensive without someone there to watch your back. Understood?” 

Cal winced. He felt his face heat up. Cal didn't know what _di'kuut_ meant, but it definitely didn't sound nice. Cody’s hands went onto his hips, looking very much like a mother scolding her child. “Yes, Commander.” Cal saluted Cody. He couldn’t help the smile that emerged on his face. He was scared. But also amused. He’s never seen Cody so flustered before.

Cody saw his amusement, and huffed. “You’re seeing Cross when we get to the _Negotiator_.” With that, the Commander walked away, leaving Cal and Obi-Wan alone, for now. “Like Master, like Padawan.”

Cal looked over at his Master, and pouted. Obi-Wan’s beard hid many things, but the smile plastered on his face was not. 

“I would suggest you heed the Commander’s advice, dear Padawan.” His Master sobered up, staring into Cal’s green eyes. “Never go out without someone. Just as you protect your troops, they are there to protect you as well.” 

Cal stared back, then nodded his head. He leaned his head on Obi-Wan’s shoulder, uncaring of the hard armor. He sighed deeply. Exhaustion took the place of adrenaline. His eyes became heavy. 

It was a while before Cal felt himself be picked up from the ground. They slowly moved to a transport, where Master Mundi and Obi-Wan also were. A trooper held him under the armpit. There was an exchange going on between Anakin and Ahsoka, but Cal couldn’t focus on anything other than his legs, his arms, his eyes, his head. 

A huge wave of exhaustion hit him. _Sleep_ , it said. 

Sleep he did. 

* * *

Cal woke up on board the _Negotiator_. Cross scowled at him as he checked his vitals, handing him a glass of water. 

“You’re as reckless as your Master.” He grumbled. “Runs in the lineage or something.” The second part was muttered, more for himself than for Cal. He left him alone, but not before threatening him about leaving the medbay before he was officially released. Cal decided that he didn’t want to try anything, and obediently sat in bed. 

He scanned the room, taking in the filled beds and bacta tanks. There weren’t many survivors. The Geonosian defenses were much stronger than they anticipated. He thought back to the meeting before deployment. Maybe if they went over the map more, they could have prevented so many deaths. 

_What do I know?_ He thought bitterly. He was thirteen. He had almost no experience with war and it’s tactics. It did him nothing to dwell on ‘what if’s. 

Eventually, he was released. Cal wandered down the halls of the _Negotiator_. Anakin and Master Unduli were unsuccessful with capturing Poggle, which meant that the 212th stayed in Geonosis’ atmosphere. Cal eventually found a storage unit, and holed himself in a dark corner.

He could still smell the stench of dead soldiers. It clung to his clothes and his skin. He already took a shower. His clothes were clean. But no matter what, the scent seemed infused inside of him, as if the rot of decomposing flesh came from within Cal. 

He hesitantly reached out to the Force, but hesitated. He didn’t want to feel its constant presence slip from his fingertips, like it did on the transport. Nor did he want to see the empty hold where the dead used to inhabit in the Force. Instead, Cal locked his shields up tighter, not daring to reach out. The fear of his loss of control overriding his need for comfort. 

“What are you doing here?” Slowly, Cal turned towards the voice.

The light from the hallway illuminated the iconic scar Cody sports. As he maneuvered between the stacks of boxes, Cal realized belatedly that he was crying. 

Cody slowly entered the unit, taking a seat next to the Padawan, whose knees were curled towards his chest. Cal quickly wiped his face and sniffled, turning his face away from the stoick Commander.

“You alright?” Cal nodded, not daring to glance at the man. He was a Jedi. He was supposed to be calm and composed, not a sniffling child who couldn't handle his emotions. 

Cody said nothing else, instead opting to sit next to Cal. The two sat in relative darkness. Cody, waiting for Cal to begin to talk. Cal, hoping his feelings would go away.

“How do you deal with…” Cal gestured, unwilling to finish the sentence. Cody stared at Cal with sad eyes. Cal began the day as a shiny, and came out with his armor dirty, the gold paint on his vambrace already slightly scratched. Cody’s eyes became sad. Sometimes, Cody mused, it was hard to remember that Ahsoka, Cal, were just _kids_ . _Ade_ . Ones that still needed training by the Jedi _and_ from the clones.

“The Mandalorians have a daily prayer.” Cody explained. He stared down at his hands. “For the fallen, the dead.” 

“Every night, I clean my armor, and I pray for my dead _vode_.” Cody shrugged his shoulders and glanced at Cal, golden eyes connecting with green ones.

“Will you teach it to me?” 

Cody nodded, smiled. "Sure."

Cal slowly went through the chant, learning the pronunciation, it’s meaning.

“ _Ni su’cuyi, gar kyr’adyc. Ni partayli, gar darasuum._ ” both chanted. 

Cody began first. “Chains. Socket. CT-134. Rain. Cham. Chess. Bugs. Venom. Kiad. CT-2487, CT-1334…” The list went on. After all, the war began a year ago. Cody can still see the pile of bodies after the first Battle of Geonosis, all piled together in a funeral pyre. So many brothers were lost just that day. 

Cody tries not to think how much longer his list became after that day.

Cal went next. “Decker. Circuit. Powers. CT-1498. Spunks. Gearshift…” They were the clones on the transport. He could smell their rotting bodies. But with each name, Cal felt the Force shift. He opened himself to it’s stream, no longer afraid of it slipping out of his reach. The stench of death slowly cleared. Not gone, but bearable. _Nu kyr’adyc, shi taab’echaaj’la,_ Cal told himself. _They’ll be waiting for their brothers on the other side, watching their backs. Watching_ my _back._

Cody grasped Cal’s shoulder. “You feel better? Cal didn’t answer at first, but really looked at the other. This wasn’t Commander Cody sitting next to him, not CC-2224. Next to him was more than just a clone. 

_This is Cody._ Cal thought. _A comrade. A friend._ He nodded, smiled.

“Yeah.” He said. He stared out, eyes glazed. 

“They’re one with the Force now, watching over us.” 

  
( _They eventually find Poggle. Cal’s list of dead became longer. The stench of dead clones and dead Geonosians never went away.)_

**Author's Note:**

> Di'kuut - idiot
> 
> ade - children
> 
> vode - brothers
> 
> Ni su’cuyi, gar kyr’adyc. ni partayli, gar darasuum - I am still alive, but you are dead. I remember you, so you are eternal. (daily remembrances for the dead)
> 
> Nu kyr’adyc, shi taab’echaaj’la - not gone, merely marching away. Tribute to dead comrade
> 
> Hi, everyone! I never really understood when people said that stories take a life of their own. But after this, I understand perfectly. This wasn't supposed to be as sad as it is, but Cal and Cody decided that no, they were going to be sad.
> 
> I'm kinda going with the flow with this story. Originally, this was going to multi-chapter, and go through Luminara's rescue. But then, I decided that I didn't want to write it. In other words, how much I actually write about Cal and major plot points may or may not happen. AKA, I'm going with the flow with how I feel.
> 
> Anywho, comment, leave kudos, whatever! I'll see you guys next time.


End file.
